Saturday 01 September 2012

I have been watching the TV show Celebrity Big Brother for the past two weeks.

I used to be a big fan of both Big Brother and its celebrity starring spin-off Celebrity Big Brother back when both shows were on Channel 4 – though if memory serves correctly the celebrity spin-off began on BBC as part of Comic Relief. Then the people in BB got more annoying each year and were often really unsuccessful celebrities/local personalities rather than ‘normal’ people. And the people in the celebrity spin-offs were often not more famous than these shitters. I don’t even remember the last one I watched. It certainly wasn’t on 5ive.

It definitely had a cocky man in it who said he could have any woman he wanted and wouldn’t be afraid to tell any woman that he was in charge and that he was better than them, who then turned out not to be able to do that and fell in love with a girl after three minutes in the house and followed her around like a puppy dog. And there was a woman in it who said she was a big personality and would say whatever she wanted because she was so strong of mind that anyone would be intimidated by her and that she also didn’t care what anyone thought anyway – who broke down every three minutes because she felt unloved.

That actually narrows nothing down as that happened every year.

People also always threatened to leave both versions of the show all the time, with at least one person walking out of each series – the most notable examples of which were a fat Scotsman called Sandy and Jack Dee. No-one has threatened to leave this CBB I’ve been watching. Coming with people leaving was replacements/people just being added anyway. This also hasn’t happened. It seems you stop watching reality TV shows and they DO change. Well, actually, they get cancelled generally.

This has been a pretty good bunch IMHO. It’s hard to compare them to the housemates from series which I haven’t seen but I wont let that stop me: this is the best series for 5 years. Julie Goodyear has been the one that’s been a bit interesting. I didn’t like her when she got in the house. But then the fact that she was essentially a non-racist Bernard Manning in an old woman’s body made her grow on me. She said “fucking hell” in a gravelly northern voice at the beginning of every statement she made. She began to get on my tits a bit though by telling everyone she loved them all the time and then slagging them off. Normally I wouldn’t think someone was being that two-faced but she wouldn’t shut up about how sincere she was and how she could only be herself (as a professional actor that is either a brilliant piece of acting or a frank admission that she hoodwinked Granada TV for years).

Most of them are pretty uninteresting to be honest. Some of them were very attractive, though, so were alright by me. The males have completely obliterated the females from the show – meaning it wont be good anymore. Only the aforementioned Julie Goodyear and Coleen Nolan (who I have had a thing for for years ). And Julian Clary. Basically the last week is going to be a bit like a Jennifer Aniston film there is going to be no sexual tension/chemistry. Meooooooooooow. I went there.

My top boy is Harvey So Solid. He has two main faults: (1) He calls Julie Goodyear nana and (2) I think he sees women as inferior in some ways. He seems very judgemental of the way the women have behaved in the house. However, there has been no man, with a partner on the outside, flirting with women inside the house for him to get righteous about. I’m not saying he is right to be righteous about people flirting but if he does it about everybody then I can handle that, bruv’ just moral innit. I am unfamiliar of his ‘love cheat’ past but I believe there is one – maybe he is just moral now and wasn’t in the past. I am amoral and not judgemental about people being moral or not – like Jesus.

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