Sunday 05 August 2012

Part of The Olympic Flu currently invigorating the nation’s interest in sport is that no-one questions how things should be because we’re that happy with the success in the sports. While the breadth of BBC’s broadcasting has been superb some of the quality of the mainstream broadcasting has been poor. I am not saying features on presenters who are former Olympians has no merit but when there are live Olympic events taking place and I’m watching Sharon Davies’ parents saying what it was like to watch their daughter swim well…it’s a good fucking job there were 24 channels available, minus the mainstream One-Showing, with the sport on.

In the car home from York I had the dubious pleasure of listening to BBC Radio 5 Live’s Mark Chapman anchor the morning after the night before. It was a bit like this (but worse):

THE PRODUCER counts down with her fingers, the BBC ON AIR sign lights up.

MARK ‘CHAPPERS’ CHAPMAN

And welcome to the day after the best day ever. Last night Mo Farah reinvented the very concept if happiness. Please phone in and just say anything regardless of whether or not you’ve thought it through. We’ve got BERT on the phone.

BERT

Best thing ever that.

MARK ‘CHAPPERS’ CHAPMAN

BERT thinks it’s the best thing ever. He could not be more right. Please phone in now and say how it was the best thing ever and you could be one of the 50 people saying exactly the same thing in the next half-an-hour. KEVIN in Halifax?

KEVIN

Yes, Mark. Just wanted to say what you’ve said described exactly what I think I should be thinking.

MARK ‘CHAPPERS’ CHAPMAN

That’s more like it. Hopefully someone will say something ridiculous that I will take as something said having considered that other people would be listening to them as human beings. This is MAGGIE who is prepared to say..well why don’t we let MAGGIE tell us?

MAGGIE

Mark, I’ve got two kids and I’ve recovered from cancer but it all seemed pointless when I watched that man do the run last night.

MARK ‘CHAPPERS’ CHAPMAN

That’s perfect Maggie. JASON in Nottingham can you top it?

JASON

Hi Mark. Think it’s great that the country is all getting excited by the Olympics. Big sports fan myself. I just think maybe people need to calm down a bit – stay supportive and enthusiastic but just not make out like it’s the best thing ever. Apart from anything else we’re not even top of the medal table and..

MARK ‘CHAPPERS’ CHAPMAN

Sorry we’ve lost Jason there. I don’t know what his problem was. He’s probably ready to go on a killing spree. Cheer up mate. For those of you who missed it last night here’s some commentary that has almost no value outside of live transmission as it says nothing in any great way and we all know he wins ….

Well it seems ridiculous to suggest it was that inane. But it was that inane. He interviewed Zoe Smith, whose involvement I have no problem with (I certainly don’t have a problem with her beautiful face), about her memories of the brilliant night before. Zoe had been at a Jessie J concert following the race on Twitter. So we were presented with what it is like for a British weightlifter to watch the events on the microblogging social network website. Alternatively they could have spoken to people who watched it, just a thought. Alternatively, if I am alone in thinking that wasn’t a really good way to interest the listeners of a radio station, they could have dedicated channel where Steve Redgrave and Tim Henman are interviewed by Spoony about what their friends are saying about the Olympics on Twitter.

Whatever. I did some more interesting stuff today but I will just carry on talking about it tomorrow as Mondays are dull as fuck.

Here is a picture of Stalybridge train station:

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