Thursday 12 July 2012

I have lived in a lot of flats: the occupational hazard of wanting to live in nice places but not earning that much money or having wealthy parents (not having a dig, just saying) to be able to buy somewhere (and I wouldn’t want to(buy somewhere)*). Fortunately most of them have been in converted large houses (you’ve all seen West Didsbury you know what I’m fucking talking about) so other than the person(s) sharing the flat with me there are generally like another six or seven people to share things like hall area/bins with. It’s never really been an issue.

The current flat I live in is in somewhat of a larger collection of abodes; there’s a lot of human beings live in the four or five buildings. This has never really caused me too much hassle. People are quiet, no-one seems to be summoning demons – and if they are they and the demons are being quiet and respectful, no-one has hosted a 40,000 capacity rave, and I’m ruddy positive that genocide isn’t being committed in the flats. Who could ask for better neighbours?

Apart from one thing, bit Columbo there, the bins and the recycling are sometimes a bit frustrating. I’m almost positive all the primary inhabitants of all the buildings are humans, with perhaps some canines/felines/parakeets as sub-letters (“pets”). The use of the bin area is quite straightforward (for a human being).  There are several large bins for rubbish and then two which are very clearly marked – one for glass/plastic and the other one for card/paper. I call these two ‘the recycling bins’, just to myself: I don’t have conversations with them. And if I did – which I certainly don’t – I would call them ‘mate’ or ‘pal’ not use their full name.

So these humans do some things that, as well as annoying me, just boggle my mind. Say there are two of the rubbish bins so full that their lids are kept open, like a car bonnet when you’re looking at the engine. Well you would think reasonably that this was because all the other bins were full to the lid and this was the only option remaining. No, it’s not – I put some rubbish in today and stuff was SPILLING out of one yet another two were empty. What sick human mind does this? Is it some kind of game or trend that I have missed out on? Instead of thinking a puppet meerkat saying simples is somehow fucking interesting is this what people are doing for kicks now? Are people going to start playing an iPhone version of ‘putting rubbish into an already full bin when there is an empty bin available’?

And the recycling bins (what I call them)….jesus…there IS RUBBISH IN THEM TOO. That’s right next to empty rubbish bins people are putting general waste in the recycling bins. Yes, there is clearly a school of thought that picking out certain rubbish and separating it into special areas is a form of waste cleansing that smacks of concentration camps. But, people, it’s rubbish. It’s not people. One bin is clearly for empty (and hopefully rinsed) beer and wine bottles and the other is for unread sections of The Guardian/Observer (maybe the Independent) and for Amazon boxes (and large unwieldy ‘bags’ from high-end retailers, I’m thinking big bucks stores – the kind of place you’d buy pairs of socks in ones, rather than get seven pairs for £3.99). These bins are NOT for banana skins, broken pencils or novelty wigs that you bought for a fancy dress party four years ago. So, fuck off.

And someone left a television OUTSIDE the rubbish area. I don’t think it should have been anywhere near it to be honest** but they couldn’t even be arsed putting it inside the rubbish shed.

*No, maybe I would actually. No, yeah, I definitely would happily be bought a big house in West Didsbury/Chorlton – so if you didn’t get me anything for my birthday and are wondering what to get me as a late present…

**SKIP – it should be taken to a skip.

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