Monday 25 June 2012

Did you see the news today? David Cameron said “who gives a fucking piss about homeless people? We’d be better off if we just fucking burned them. And the disableds, sorry but what are they giving back? The Paralympics are a fucking nightmare, if that’s them giving back…are we meant to be interested? I guarantee people aren’t watching for the high-level sport. Ticked a few fucking boxes though and made a few ramp manufacturers a bob or two.”

Well he didn’t but he might as well have. He really isn’t behaving like a man doing a job he wasn’t properly chosen to do and is trying to convince us all he deserves to get a proper shot at in a couple of years. He’s behaving like a fucking mentalist. He’s like the hick guy with a gun in an American drama (like Lost or The Walking Dead) who kills some people because he’s a mad racist with a gun. Only he’s a posh English guy and his gun is political power, but he’s waving it around, pointing it at the poor and the needy (sorry this description has become like a political cartoon from a broadsheet – picture it, Cameron is dressed as a cowboy and he’s firing two pistols in the air and along barrel is written ‘governmental power’ and in the background there are is a prison with Nick Clegg and Ed Milliband in it and instead of a lock on the bars there is just the phrase ‘political incompetence’ joining them together like chains).

The day started off with me listening to a radio voice telling me that Cameron was announcing an end to the culture of entitlement. Which is rich (pun intended) coming from a man whose life was mapped out by his family’s head butler¹ before being ratified by a vote at The Bullingdon Club. He would later announce that child benefit was to be capped at three children. Supposedly because people are making a comfortable living out of having children they then neglect. We do realise that Jeremy Kyle isn’t representative of the populous? And that The Daily Mail’s scaremongering is hyperbolic bullshit designed to appeal to, and encourage, right-wing thinking?

How does this work as a policy? Child benefits are there to allow people to support children. Withdrawing this is punishing children. If one were to believe, and I don’t, that there are countless people having babies to fund a lavish lifestyle, then withdrawing the money isn’t going to make the children concerned any more likely to be looked after. So, the message is “it’s not our fucking problem”.

“It’s not our fucking problem” could very well be the Conservative Party’s slogan for the next election. Cameron was paraphrasing tough new benefit systems when he said  “cant afford a house? Tough – live with your parents” but he might as well have been shooting the shit in the billiards room with his compadres. Does he get that a lot of people don’t have parents? Certainly a lot of people don’t have parents with spare rooms. But it’s not his problem is it? It’s not his problem that he would have to survive in a spare wing of his parents’ home – with only a skeleton staff for service. It’s not his problem. Vote Conservative.

¹Head butler? Was does that even mean? You can’t adequately satirise something you don’t understand.

Another picture from Elbow

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