Thursday 14 June 2012

One More Sleep

Last day of work before my trip to Munchen (Munich). I fucking love not being at work to travel to Germany to get pissed with my mates. True story.

Current betting for the trip:

Evs: I will try and drink responsibly and manage it up until everyone is getting too drunk to be conversant and then I will buy myself 40 schnapps
2/1: I wont be able to eat by Sunday
5/2: I will be a right miserable bastard at some stage on Saturday and cheer up out of nowhere (after drinking)
4/1: Several people will swear off drinking for ever/an elongated period on the last day.
6/4: They will have a drink before the week is out.
3/1: I will take a dislike to someone on the trip who I haven’t met.
8/1: I wont moan about anything. (I’d get on this now, by the time I see the hotel/have first hangover it will be about 1000/1)
3/1: Half of the people reading this don’t understand the odds/what odds are.

More Lessons

In all honesty I doubt I will be observing Lailat al Miraj, an Islamic faith day on Saturday: I will be being hungover, then mildy retching as I have a pint and then getting drunk. As part of my continuing mission to understand more about Islam I asked my own personal guide through Islam what the festival was all about when I saw it coming up (on my calendar). Now I can’t quite remember what she said and I don’t want to get it wrong but basically it is about when Muhammad¹went to a mosque and ascended to heaven. Which is great, don’t get me wrong. Zero is the amount of times I’ve ascended to heaven. But she told me that he got told by someone (note to self, stuff like this seems more respectful if you remember the names of people involved) that from now on it was OK to pray 5 times a day – unlike the 60 times they were praying at the time, it being the fashion at the time.

She also told me it isn’t such a big occasion, certainly not in comparison to both big and little Eid. As I told her, I think it needs a bit more respect – 5 prays a day instead of 60 is a great bit of streamlining that should be celebrated.

¹My friend, my guide to Islam, writes pbuh, as in piece be upon him, every time she writes his name when explaining things- like this does -, I really like this – it is one of them things where it must be really horrible to get wrong unintentionally. I think it’s something I would definitely mess up if I was a Muslim and be really annoyed for people pointing it out, I’d be all like “of course I want peace to be on him for fuck’s sake, can’t we just assume it? Writing it every time seems to detract from its importance…” And then someone would be all like “It’s the point that you always write it which shows how important it is.” And I’d be like “whatevz” : I wouldn’t lost my great catchphrase just because I was Muslim.

End of Season Cliff-Hanger

Oh yeah I said I was going to have a cliff-hanger ahead of the stag weekend. Well I can’t be arsed with it – or this blog anymore. Yes, from the position of you, the reader of this blog, it looks like I am dead, the blog is over, kaput, finished…and other words that mean that this seems to be the end of the blog. There would have to be some ridiculously contrived twist to explain this away…farewell.

Picture of People Who Haven’t Learned from Jimmy McNulty

Look at these idiot taxi drivers – have they not even seen The Wire? If you pull up to talk to someone in a car you do it the other way to what they are so you are next to them – as opposed to shouting across your passenger seat. What a pair of dicks.

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