Wednesday 13 June 2012

I think it’s a fair reflection of the levels I have moved up in my professionalism that today I accidentally sent the right email to the right group of people.

A few years ago I accidentally sent a calendar of former Hollyoaks actor Gemma Atkinson to an externally contracted employee (I mean he wasn’t a full-time employee like us). His first name had the same first three letters of the surname of a colleague who I was sending said calendar to and bob’s your Microsoft Outlooking auto-complete email adressing uncle. Hey……let’s not caught up in the questionable nature of sending images of a young actress to other men to leer over: she got paid for the calendar, someone bought it and scanned it in and emailed it around every sad bastard in the country. So, anyway, I sent him the pictures accidentally. I realised what I had done within seconds, apologised, he never acknowledged either the initial email nor the apology. A sad chapter in my life over. Never to be repeated.

Until a few months later we were discussing former World Record sex attempter Annabel Chong and I was saying, necessarily, that she was quite attractive. This led to me emailing a picture of her to the people I was conversing with – as some of them didn’t know what she looked like (I’m not proud of this…). And before you start thinking it was a sordid image of her mid-sex – it wasn’t. It was a normal picture of her, wearing clothes and everything. Now with the image I added the text “not bad….for a ho”. Quite. I really am not proud of this, OK? It’s embarrassing recounting this – but you learn from your mistakes eh? As I proved by sending this email to the same external man, in error, when meaning to send it to the colleague with the similar surname. Yeah.

He has never mentioned either instance. Nor acknowledged my apologies. That’s fair – I could have been sacked. I, grudgingly accept that his lack of acceptance of my apology is the punishment I will just have to live with.

So, today when I was trying to work out how to do a mail merge email (easier than this anecdote suggests) I accidentally sent a list of contacts, that I needed to send the email to, an email, the contents of which I had checked many times and contained no images of TV soap actresses in underwear nor images of fully clothed pornography stars. I only became aware that I had sent the email – I thought an error message was about all the emails not being sent when it was just one of them – when still trying to the mail-out (that I had unwittingly already done) someone replied and it popped up.

And people say you get more right-wing as you get older.

Though this has kind of suggested that I have grown up a bit and that I have moved on from accidental dismissable acts to accidental doing-what-I-should-be doing and thus I am somehow a better person, I spent about 20 minutes when I got home using photo editing software to create this image (edited version below).

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