Tuesday 12 June 2012

Pump up The Volume

You know that little speaker icon down the bottom of your screen that is the volume display/control? (I am basing this description on a PC/Windows perspective – I am sure on an MacBooks the volume is controlled by your subconscious self-satisfaction*) That randomly disappears every 28th time I use my laptop. That’s not an accurate statistic – but it seems about right: it seems like it happens more often than once a month – but not that more often. However often it occurs it’s really fucking annoying.

It’s always that icon that I have the problems with. I did have a spate of the little battery-power icon thing going missing but I never really need that. Whereas occasionally wanting to adjust the volume is a constant thorn in my side. If David Cameron could sort this out for me then..well I wouldn’t stop thinking he was a cunt or hating everything he stood for but I might think he’d earned his fucking wages for an hour. (Two reason why this is nonsense: He isn’t actually paid that much in the grand scheme of thing, certainly in relation to his personal wealth, you could almost convince people he was some kind of philanthropist given his immense personal wealth balanced against the fact that he is a public servant. Of course that would rely on him doing absolutely anything for the good of the people he serves – haha – and not slowly rotting away public services and…you get the picture, I don’t like him. And secondly if he was spending his time sorting out little bugs in the display of PCs then I’d be asking questions about what he was doing pissing about with computer programming when he should be running the country.)

*Of course this is jealousy; Of course I want one. That said I will be smugly self-satisfied if I do get one.


That was great stuff on Twitter tonight when Reni, the drummer in The Stone Roses, didn’t return to the stage to do an encore for the latest gig on their comeback tour. In the interests of clarifying what had happened: they had done a full gig and he didn’t do the encore. I don’t KNOW why. No-one on Twitter KNEW anything. It is fair to say that he should probably have played the song and it also appears that the rest of the band were prepared to play the encore. But Twitter had it that he and Ian Brown had fallen out and that Ian Brown had said this and that. And by this/that I mean they suggested IB called him a cunt – and this was the biggest deal really. Adults were suggesting that one adult calling another adult a cunt was a sign that the comeback was off. Really.

I call everyone a cunt all the time. I mean, everyone is a bit of a cunt sometimes (© Steve Coogan). I’d be disappointed if Ian Brown hadn’t called Reni a cunt on a regular basis. He does seem like a bit of a one – did you see the press conference when they announced the comeback gigs?

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