I’d be lying if I said I was revolted by The Queen. Or, to put it another way: I am not in danger of revolting against The Queen. I am also not a royalist.

There are certainly people knocking about that a ferverent republicans and want rid of the royals like yesterday, man. I am more on their side than I am the royalists, but I think they should just be slowly faded out. Are they pointless? No. They certainly bring in massive amounts of tourists and do some cracking PR for England around the world. But they are expensive. But they bring in a lot of money. But they don’t pay tax. But they do. But it’s volunteered and only done on private income. But the public income is massives and the expenditure is far outweighed by it. Etc

You know The Queen has the right to ownership of any beached whale? That must have been one for the small claims court before the law was created.

A lot of people have been saying some mean stuff about her building up to and during this, her jubilee year. I have seen stuff on Twitter comparing her to a dictator. Which seems a bit of a stretch. I suppose it was inevitable that for every street party there would be someone saying “oh she’s a bit rubbish” and worse things – that seem to get a bit personal if you ask me, which no-one did. I don’t mind people pointing out, as I read yesterday, that (allegedly) The Queen has never used the word gay publically and that she has never spoken out in support of the rights of homosexuals. The former made me think she has clearly never had to differentiate between which Kray was Ronnie and which was Reggie; the latter I wasn’t too concerned with. And then I was because she should probably have done that, I would like everyone to do that so I don’t see why she shouldn’t. Maybe she resents her title being used to describe ostentatious transvestites, she should get over it if that’s her reason.

I am all for the right to protest. I think legitimate protest is a cornerstone of a democratic society. But sometimes, mainly when I am tired, I just think can’t we just let one thing happen without someone hijacking it by criticising the thing being celebrated or trying to say everyone should prefer something else? People who don’t like something or don’t believe in something are often obsessed with other people agreeing with their disagreement. Mainly I think dissenting voices are a good thing but just sometimes I wish everyone else in the fucking world would just fuck off and die just because they can’t accept that no-one can agree on everything and they never will: I can’t stop millions of people being impressed by a dog tricks so why drive myself mad going on about it? [I realise this renders most of the previous 550 blogs extremely hypocritical, but I am a fucking hypocrite you dicks.]

Some Tweets

Well I thought they were funny…

An inside source tells me Roy Hodgson is delivering all communication to players in iambic pentameter.

— Philip Bridgehouse (@house78) June 1, 2012

Source also revealed that the non-playing squad members plan to do some flashmob dance routines around people taking throw-ins.

— Philip Bridgehouse (@house78) June 1, 2012

Entertainment in the evenings has been provided by Stewart Downing MCing over beats provided by Phil Jones.

— Philip Bridgehouse (@house78) June 1, 2012

Andy Carroll has also been doing 15-minutes of stand-up every night, described as very Woody Allen.

— Philip Bridgehouse (@house78) June 1, 2012

Gary Neville’s nightly football quiz has proved popular as well. Though Neville has made attendance compulsory.

— Philip Bridgehouse (@house78) June 1, 2012