Tuesday 29 May 2012

Another day another dollar. As they say. Not for me – I get paid in pounds sterling.

I was back in Dudley today. Remember when I went to Dudley the other week? There would normally be a hyperlink to the blog there but I am still mad at you for not reading my blog anymore, so you will just have to imagine there is a hyperlink (that you’re not clicking on) there.

Dudley remains fucking rubbish by the way. This was the first day of a two-day meeting so we had the bonus of having to stay overnight in Dudley. A few of us are United fans so we thought we would use our temporary exclusion to the depths of humanity (Dudley) to go and visit the grave of Duncan Edwards who perished in the Munich Air Disaster, the disaster that a healthy proportion of football fans believed is the sole reason for United’s popularity. Only the training went on until 6pm because they knew we were staying overnight. Then we stopped off at Tesco – to get some flowers (whatever) – and then we got lost.

Then we walked around the graveyard of the church we had eventually found as one of us had checked the internet and we knew that the gravestone was at Dudley Crematorium. We looked around for about five minutes. “You know this is a graveyard at a church?” someone said. Crematoriums are generally not in graveyards of churches. So we went back to the car and found the crematorium. The crematorium shut at 6pm.

Who shuts a crematorium? What is going on in Dudley meaning its crematorium has to be locked shut at quite an early time? Actually don’t answer that, no-one wants to imagine a 19-stone Brummy digging up an old woman and having vigorous sexual congress so don’t answer that might be the reason for someone entering a crematorium.

So it was back to the hotel. I wasn’t going to fall foul of the cliché of getting drunk in a hotel on an overnighter with colleagues: I had brought my Kindle, my iPad and….well isn’t that enough? I needed to have one pint though innit. To be sociable. But then I needed to eat and there was a pub quiz¹.

I went to bed at twenty to four.

¹Third, the other half of the group were another team who finished second. It was a little frustrating as I was a healthy chunk of the team I was on; Specialised subject: everything except the picture of a car.

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