Sunday 20 May 2012

Brief Analysis of a Woman Confusing Me for Someone else on The Street

As I walked to the shop today a woman was leaving the newsagent that I had to walk pass. I slowed down so as not to walk into her path and maybe check out a little of god’s handy work. She turned around and looked at me for a second and then said, “oh I thought you were Bradley*.”

I’m not sure what I am supposed to do with that information. What is my reaction supposed to be? Who the fuck is Bradley?Is she not only not mistaking me for Bradley anymore but then actively mistaking me for someone she knows well enough to know who Bradley is? Was she mistaking me for TV funnyman Bradley Walsh? We do both have a twinkle in our eye and a devilish grin. So, that was probably what it was. Mystery solved.

Shit – I was hoping to get a few more words out of that whole thing. I could drag it out a bit by pointing out that none of this happened today: it happened yesterday but I have just imagineselved what happened to me into today as today was quite lacklustre. But I kind of explained that away in one brief sentence.

*She might have said Daryl. Or something else. She said a man’s name, that’s all that matters really.

Be Careful What You Wish for

My favourite blogs are the ones where I criticise the blog for not being read by anyone. In fact these ones where I reflect that I don’t like the ones where I do that are fast overtaking them. To be clear the state of play is:

  • I just get confused by people telling me they always read my blog only to know that the numbers don’t add up; I just don’t get why someone would say that they were when they weren’t. Unless they are trying to cover up that they can’t read. Shit…I’d apologise for insensitivity but they couldn’t read it so what would be the point?
  • I can’t help but look at the statistics of how many hits the blog gets. Let’s just say it’s like people who dress for themselves: you know how some people aren’t dressing because of how they want other people to perceive them/be attracted to them. My blog is a pair of tight jeans that I am just wearing because of how good I feel in them.
  • These really aren’t bullet points – this should just be a regular paragraph.

The relevance is that because I have recently put the text of a junk email in a blog and mentioned the SMSs I have been getting in another I seem to have started getting a few more hits. So, it turns out that having friends wasn’t the best way to get a few people to read my blog (which, let’s face it, is a good job as I have none): I just need to mention certain buzz phrases from annoying scam emails and text messages. Only time will tell if either of these blogs will overtake my leading blog of all time: this one with a picture of two fat Americans in wrestling suits is. Seriously. 395 hits. I might just do a picture of a different WWE wrestler each day – then Google will buy me.

Pictures of Stalybridge Churches No 77

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