Friday 18 May 2012

I’m still split between two jobs which means times at different desks. When I am at my new desk I am respectable and quiet. I cannot say this is because I have been promoted and now line manage a team and I am setting a good example, it is mainly because I don’t know anyone really and know that knowing to people is a fast track to me shouting fuck, piss and cunt loudly as part of my winning personality. So, I am quite happy playing the quiet (and obviously sexy guy) who keeps his head down and reads reports on education that are all full of shit.

Of course, the other people around me talk. Not like the people in my old team talk; there has not been one mention of the Die Hard films by the people around my new desk, for example. I know you’re reading that and going like ‘what are these people doing if they aren’t talking about Die Hard films and generally agreeing they are the greatest action franchise in the history of cinema, and that the first two are that good that you forgive Die Hard 4.0 for being not very good AND for being called Die Hard 4.0?’

It’s not all not talking about Bruce Willis franchises though: they play a great game where they guess what a guy’s wife has put on his sandwiches for him. I really want to join in but don’t feel I can impose myself just yet. I was gutted today thinking that I had gone out for my lunch about the time he would be unveiling what was on his sandwiches. Fortunately, I realised that he was doing a meeting at a hotel so he wouldn’t have been in the office or had sandwiches. Phew.

I know what everyone wants to know now: what has he been having then. Well, I was out of the office on Monday and Tuesday so I can only tell you what he had on Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday: corned beef and tomato; Thursday: cheese. I know it’s good isn’t it? On neither day did any of the people guessing guess correctly. I will keep you posted as to both whether I will become involved or not and as to the contents of his bread-based snacks.

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