Friday 11 May 2012

Some Business Ideas I Probably Wont Use So You Can Have

Fruit Peeling Shop: it would be like a hairdressers but instead of sitting in a chair and someone cutting your hair based on your instructions you would sit in a chair and tell someone how you wanted your fruit peeling. Then they would peel your fruit. Unlike a hairdressers there wouldn’t be a bench/seats for people to sit and wait – you would have to look through the window to see if any of the ‘waiting for your fruit to be peeled chairs’ were free. People coming into the fruit peeling shops when all the chairs were occupied would immediately be banned (no appeals).

Jason Stathaming Books: changing the description of the main character in books to be like Jason Statham so Jason Statham would want to buy them; who wouldn’t want to own a book where they were the main character? Example: “And the gates of Willy Wonka’s factory opened after being shut for ages and out walked Willy Wonka – he looked exactly like the actor Jason Statham.”

Telling People Gambling Is A Bad Idea: Stand outside casinos and tell people walking in that it’s probably better in the long run if they don’t go in. Then charge them a fee for the warning. You could work out a fee on a sliding scale: the richer/bigger gambling problem the bigger the fee.

Lol

I like that one of the things to be revealed in one of the landmark British legal cases of recent times is that David Cameron signed off SMSs to Rebekah Brooks with lol. The story on this was that he thought it meant ‘lots of love’ and that Brooksy had to set him straight that it meant ‘laugh out loud’. I hate to defend the bastard spawn Prime Minister but that isn’t ridiculous, some people do use it to mean that. Still, though, it is good that is was revealed. I wonder how long she let it go on. It would be quite sad to think of this proud man reading the text explaining his ‘error’ and feeling a fool, perhaps even crying of shame at his own stupid texting fingers. It would be quite sad if he wasn’t a massive shit who I really don’t like.

I wonder how many people signed off a text to him today with lol at the end. I bet the bastard has laughed it off as well – and if anyone has said anything about him taking it in good humour he has said something like “you’ve got to be able to laugh at yourself haven’t you?”  What a fucking prick.

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