Thursday 10 May 2012

“Our records indicate that you are owed £2800 for mis-sold PPI from the last ten years. Reply INFO for more info or stop to opt-out”

I’m getting at least one of these a day at the moment. Lying text messages from numbers. I’m not owed any money am I? And if I was it’s purely coincidence: this is just a blanket message to get desperate people to try and think they are owed something. And, no, I don’t really know what PPI is and, frankly I don’t want to.

I’ve just googled it. Maybe I am owed some money. I doubt it. But if I was I would not pursue it via an anonymous text message teasing me. Why do I have to reply to get more info? Just give me all the information you have up front. This isn’t a Mexican stand-off. I’m also not replying stop as I’m pretty sure that’s just a conniving way to alert the sender that this is an active phone number. You’re not so clever now are you anonymous text sender with your offer of money.

Really where do these people get off, thinking I am for sale? This whole thing makes me sick; just what kind of idiot do they think they are dealing with here? Maybe I should reply. It’s only more info isn’t it? What has ever been damaging about more information? £2800 is not to be sniffed at. Nearly three grand. I could buy a reasonably good car and smash it to pieces with a lump hammer, just for fun.

Of course what would probably happen, if I sent any kind of reply, is that I would enter into a legally binding agreement with the Hungarian mafia who demand £400 a day off me in return for not cutting my eyes out with a rusty stanley knife.

No. I don’t think I will be replying. Anyway, if everyone starts claiming back money off banks how are they going to pay all the top brass the mega bonuses? I’d hate to think me claiming back some money that I was entitled to would mean some multi-millionaire having slightly less of a bonus this year. These poor bastards plan their outgoings based on receiving these bonuses, their million pound salaries barely cover their nine homes and yachts. If it wasn’t for hefty bonuses and interest accrued on special accounts that they don’t pay tax on they probably wouldn’t be able to pay for the island in the Caribbean they’ve had their eye on since Jeremiah is in his third year and looking like getting a bally good degree and deffo needs a present to reward him for his studies.

No, I can’t do it. I would only waste £2800 while these people know what they are doing and will spend it wisely on flowers for the summer house garden in France.

Does anyone remember when this blog  used to be good? No, me neither.


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