Tuesday 08 May 2012

This was the day I part symbolically-part literally moved to my new desk. On a new floor. I have literally moved up in the world – I have gone from the second floor to the third floor; apologies to anyone wondering why I have used the word literally to describe something that isn’t figurative but it is you who is wrong saying thing like “just done 4 hours on the treadmill -my feet are literally metamorphosisising¹ into dust” when your feet hurt. It is, it is you who is wrong. Don’t go doing that thing where you defend it by arguing that it is so commonplace that using literally to mean the opposite of literally is OK. It is not it is wrong. You are wrong.

So, yes – I have had to move. Partially. I am at my new desk, doing parts of my new job, classified as my new job but ….new job?? Did I not make a big deal out of it? I’m sorry. That is probably why absolutely no-one congratulated me². I don’t see why people make a big deal out of these things. Did you see that Barrack Obama when he got a new job the other year? The word dignity was used a lot to describe his character around the time he was promoted to be POTUS. Dignity is not telling people you have been promoted until people ask you and then complaining³ about lack of recognition. Making millions of people cheer at you and putting on a big show is not dignity. If he wanted to be dignified why didn’t he just move in without telling anyone one evening? (Giving GWBJ ample notice to give the place a clean up and make any minor repairs which might cost him his security deposit.)

I am not entirely happy with the shape and height of the desk. The shape is something I can learn to deal with. However the height..well it’s not really the height..the desk seems about the same height as my old desk. But with them the drawers were smaller and you put them UNDER the desk. These desks are slightly different in style/look and the drawers go at the side. So they are at the side of my chair, meaning it is a bit awkward to go in them when I am sat in my chair at the desk, WHEN ELSE WOULD I NEED TO BE GOING IN THEM?

It is not the only problem with the desk. The trapeziumy one, desk 2 (see diagram) which has my PC on has very narrow legs which make getting my chair under a bit fiddly. And when I am under desk 2, smooth transition to desk 1 – where I might, for example, have some report I want to intermittently refer to (or The Racing Post), impossible as I have to reverse out and past the legs. It is a nightmare.

On the plus side, I have my first ever desk-shelf. Previous shelves have always been in cupboards.

More exciting thoughts on my desk and related matters this week: stay on the edge of your seats.

¹No, this isn’t a word: I thought it added to effect. Literally.

²In the interests of using some elements of truth, I should point out that some people did congratulate me and I actively didn’t want any recognition; part to be able to complain that no-one congratulated me at a later date: see here; part because I like other people to treat me the way I treat myself, namely with contempt and loathing. Congratulations and acclaim are not bedfellows I rest easy with. That said, I ignore other people being shy/awkward/dignified about success and congratulate them anyway.

³Not really complaining: we get that this is tongue-in-cheek, right? I seem to have the odd misunderstanding with people about some of the things I have put in here. To clarify a couple of things: (1) I am in favour of Unite Against Fascism and the notion of protest; I do have some issues with people doing some stuff for attention and idiots riding on the coattails of legitimate protest for their own ego, but generally I love someone telling  BNP/Nazi/EDL to fuck off – even if it is phrased more politely and written on a placard, (2) Children are dull, that was not tongue-in-cheek.

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