Thursday 03 May 2012

We got told on Tuesday to have a cupboard emptied ahead of the grand moving around of stuff at work. Just make sure they are emptied by the close of play on Friday, we were told. Now the cupboards have very little in them – some empty coffee jars that need recycling, some spare cups and a few folders with generic work information in them. So, not much in. There are other teams in the same ‘having to empty cupboards that need to be moved’ boat. Some of them emptied the cupboard on like Monday or Tuesday. What is the point? I’m not saying do stuff at the very last minute but if you pack all your work stuff away three days earlier than you have to, you end up not being able to do stuff because you put all your stuff in a crate.

I’ve digressed. So we were told on Tuesday to have the cupboard emptied. We were told this by the cabal of touring experts who my works have contracted to put a plan together to move six desks and a cupboard. These room-planners-for-hire have been walking around all week saying things like “So, this cupboard is moving to the other end of the corridor?” while looking at a plan that clearly shows that the cupboard is moving from where it is to the other end of the corridor. Occasionally they are joined by a couple of other people – creating a group ten or eleven strong all nodding, safe in the knowledge that they are all agreed that they have been able to comprehend some staggeringly simple moving about of things.

This group approached us just after lunch today to ask us if we knew we had to empty the cupboard by the close of play on Friday. “Yeah, you said it to me the other day. I said ‘no problem’ and it will be done by the end of tomorrow; it’s just not done now because it’s half-past one on Thursday.” The problem with people this lifeless is that they can’t even detect sarcasm so my words were wasted. If anything he just looked at me like it was odd that ‘by the end of Friday’ hadn’t been translated as ‘lunchtime on Thursday’ like it had to all the other drones sat around looking at boxes of stuff they needed to do their jobs.

Basically it is a not-very-complicated process that has been massively over complicated. My favourite kind of work thing.

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