Thursday 26 April 2012

This Could Be A Case for Mulder and Scully

I thought the advantage of being in the second year of ‘le blog’ would be that on a day I was struggling for something to write about I could look back, wistfully natch, at the corresponding day of the previous year, for a hilarious spur to a blog entry. Perish that I am saying today was not worth commenting on – I am: read on if you don’t believe me – but when I looked back to see what I did on April 26, 2011 I was confused to find out that there was no April 26 last year. Instead I found that there were two 27ths: Tuesday 27 April and Wednesday 27 April. What’s even crazier is that I didn’t mention in either blog that the people who made 2011 fucked up April badly. How did they get away with this? What happened to people whose birthday fell on April 26 last year? Did they not age? That there has been a cover up of this suggests to me that I could be through the looking glass here, people.

If I go missing then I have definitely been killed by the F.B.I. for uncovering this plot to not have an April 26 in twenty-eleven. I assume I will become a Che Guevera type figure for the world’s disillusioned masses. Please, someone, make sure they use a good picture of me on the t-shirts. This one?

Septic Tanks

I overheard a couple of American students talking on the bus tonight. It was a boy and a girl. At first I was unsure the lad was American – the girl was doing a lot of the talking early doors. My main suspicion was that he was wearing an unbranded baseball cap. The suspicion was stupid though: he had a fucking baseball cap on backwards, of course he was American. Plus he was probably from Ohio or somewhere they didn’t have self-esteem issues which they need to dress over with branded clothing like pathetic people do.

The girl was telling the boy about her phone. It must have been new to her or something. She was really impressed as the phone had a choice of ‘modes’ each mode related to a different setting: with each setting adjusting stuff like the volume of the ringtone and alerts. Impressive eh? What’s that you say? Your Nokia 3310 had that 10 years ago? EXACTLY.

What is going on here? How was someone impressed with this feature in 2012? Americans are normally brilliant. This one was rubbish. What would she be impressed with next? DVDs? THE INTERNET?


What’s the deal with turning down an invite if it comes from someone you don’t know?

I got an email from someone I never met inviting me to the stag weekend of someone I have met. I can’t go as I’m watching Elbow (the band). Do I make my excuse/reason to the ‘best man’?(He is not better than me, he can tell as many people as he wants how he is the best, I know I am the best.) Or do I contact the groom, who has clearly begged the ‘not as good as me man’ to move hell and high water to get me to attend the celebrations? In these scenarios I tend to do nothing and ignore people trying to include me. Probably not that nice of me really. Whatevz.

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