Monday 09 April 2012

He’s Too Monday

My long and exhaustive research (Google—>Wikipedia) into what Easter Monday means has been fruitless.  They have definitely wasted not including the Last Supper in the whole 4-day Easter festival of death.

Maybe they should mix it up a bit and throw something not historically associated with Easter into the mix. How about Easter Monday becomes the day when people are supposed to remember how the process between the first time they saw Dom Jolly do his ‘loud man on the phone’ character and the progressive decline of seeing the character and be completely unamused by it, normally the third time you saw it. It could be an important part of the Easter message as it undeniably exemplifies how someone doing the same thing can quickly go from being loved to being reviled: is it the thing that has changed or is it us? Maybe we should all look at ourselves before scoffing at the other thing.

Has something not changing done anything wrong? It hasn’t played some magic trick on us, or a con like those people in the TV show Hustle do in the shit BBC version of Ocean’s 11 way. No the problem is with perception of people thinking something that was once interesting and new should change to stay interesting and new. When of course we all know most things in life quickly become fucking dull and old very quickly. See, it is a good message to be part of Easter. The one drawback of it could be Dom Jolly rehashing the joke every time he is on TV (he is sweating a lot there isn’t he?) or thinking that he is bringing something new to it by using an iPad in place of an oversized novelty phone. For these reasons it is probably best if Dom Joly is buried in a well, so the spirituality of Easter Monday Man Shouting On A Phone day is preserved.

The only other possible thing I can think Easter Monday to be used for is remembering when Prince went through that whole slave/symbol/artist formerly known as Prince period. I don’t know what the message of that whole thing would be towards Easter though. I suppose it would be don’t try and have a battle with the record industry because, even if you are a massive big star writing Batman themes and the like, you will probably lose. Did I lose though? (The italics is Prince asking) Did I lose, Phil? I still can sell out nights at the o2 when I want to – and I am generally venerated by a niche of music journalists as still being amazing. They are definitely right as it is always the very small pocket of people who write about music for broadsheets and Mojo who are right about music and not the millions of people who BUY music by Adele and Susan Boyle. There is definitely only one barometer for musical quality – the only way you can measure it is by having about 40 people with the same taste who run the musical critique market say you are good and amazing.

And that is why Dom Joly is winning the battle for the Easter Monday message – bacause Prince gave his fucking album away to the readers of a tabloid newspaper because no-one was interested in buying them  because him changing his name and saying he was a slave (sat on a pile of millions in a big mansion) had become more interesting than his music – and it wasn’t very interesting, which tells you how interesting his music was. It is not something you would want to associate with the message of Easter, even when compared with a joke with a lifespan of less than the length of the laugh you started the first time you saw it.

Happy Loud Man on The Phone Day.

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