Monday 02 April 2012

Hotel Babylon

When I enthusiastically arrived at work ahead of travelling to a Manchester hotel for a meeting little did I realise it would be 10 hours of meeting later that I would finish work. Don’t me wrong, I know a lot of people had a worse day than me; I know people died, people lost loved ones and business collapsed. But none of that shit happened to me. When people talk about putting things in perspective they often forget that a lot of people are innately selfish beings. Though I can empathise the hell out of some things with people I care about, take it more than one degree of separation away from me and could I really give a fuck? Yeah it’s a bad thing and something should really be done to stop bad things but I don’t want to spend my life getting wrapped up in bad things that I can avoid, it will just make my life easier. So when I have a working day that goes from 8.30 am to 7.20 pm without any real breaks it counts as a bit of a shit day ok? I don’t care what was terminated/collapsed/interfered with by a local pervert in other people’s lives; it was relatively worse than my average day is all that matters. Get off my back about me saying a longish working day, for which I was paid, was hellish will you?

God it was hellish.

Did I say it was hellish?

It was fine. April fool.

A couple of things do stand out to me about the venue, which I wont name as I’m not a professional hotel corporate services reviewer. Suffice it to say that it’s a large, traditional central Manchester hotel on Oxford Road – opposite Oxford Road train station. It’s the Palace Hotel.

One, when I got there the room was quite hot and the air conditioner thing seemed quite unresponsive. I asked the person servicing the meeting if she could help. She said the dial I had been using was now defunct and that air conditioning was controlled from a central hub. She reappeared a few minutes later with two desk fans and put them at either ends of the room and turned them on, not saying anything to me. Man I felt ridiculous: my idea of a central hub was ridiculously sci-fi where someone would press some buttons to turn some fan-based system on. I must stop watching these films set a thousand years in the future.

Two, when did orange juice stop being offered as part of drinks? At breaks and lunch there was just hit drinks and some horrible thing. No water. No orange juice. Come on…orange juice is standard. I’m not saying I’m some Lord Alan Sugar figure but fuck me if orange juice isn’t a big ask. Admittedly I didn’t ask for any and might have been readily offered some if I had done.

The last point is nothing to do with the hotel. The people were there because they’re clever. And they are. But how one of them can be so clever and still have the click noises turned on his phone beyond me. Why do phones even have click noises? They are a waste of time. There is no benefit I can think of to having click noises when you press buttons on a touchscreen device. They just serve to identify people are using a device when it is best kept subtle.

If anyone does have a reason for having clicks turned on please drop me a line.

(Not even mentioned the weather.)

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