Saturday 03 March 2012

Save Any Chess?

I did my A-grade political stuff for the week yesterday…shit. Well today was the day for a rally to complain about David Cameron having pictures of kids in really explicit poses…no, no – it was to complain about how the Conservative Party* are trying to convince everyone replacing the NHS with a series of Pay-Per-View crossword championships is a good idea. Or something.

I think it’s important that I get credit for attending this rally. I am not after glory by any means, but I think it is important that people think ‘yes,he is a solid man of principles who acts on the principles’. If we are going to base this respect gained (by me) on facts then it might be found wanting. Although I am fiercely opposed to de-NHSing of the country AND would be prepared to do many things to stop this happening again, I do despise large groups of people. If I’d have attended this event I’d have ended up ideologically confused: protesting to maintain a service that sustains the general public serves to fuel my own resentment of society – not specifically but inclusive of anyone who watches Take Me Out.

Having seen picture of the rally I think I made the right choice. Big foam hands had their place – and it was the NEC Arena during the filming of Gladiators. I paid for those foam hands (indirectly) and I’m fucked if I am going to stand around while foam hands that I (might as well have) made myself were waved in my face while people shouted things.

One phrase that one might use in connection with this whole debacle is ‘if it aint broke don’t fix it’. Semantically this phrase troubles me. Can you fix something that isn’t broken? If you are fixing something it is in need of repair. A more adroit, though less snappy, phrase might be ‘if it aint not doing a reasonable job and is by no means perfect but is by any means a cracking institution don’t allow a fucking shit-pile unelected prick to smash it up like a sulking fat child with a Lego castle’.

* Yes, and theoretically the Liberal Democrats, though no-one really believes they are involved in this coalition anymore – they are in some basement somewhere being quiet because if they make any noise and the Police come then David will kill their parents. And they believe him – and they are right to because he will. The joke is on them – he has already killed them AND is replacing the Police with several extras from the defunct ITV serial drama The Bill.


Did this section leap out at you? Were you intrigued by its title? If so then I have already disproved my point which I am going to make.

I watched F (yeah a one letter hyperlink) on Film Four tonight. It’s not some amazing film that I’m going to implore anyone to see but it’s not terrible (it’s not great – really don’t get the impression I’m suggesting it’s great). Basic premise: faceless hoodie types descend on a school of an evening and hunt all the people left in the building. It’s one of them where you quickly check if there is a message but then think it’s probably not got one. It’s got some elements in common with Eden Lake, just not the ones that made Eden Lake brilliant.

I had never heard of it, this F. And I read about films and reviews and stuff. I am not saying it would have made millions had it had a better title but the thing about people who like tawdry low-concept horror films is that they don’t need to go looking for films as they advertise themselves with their titles – or mass-marketing campaigns. They should have just called it Hoodies Low Budget Killing Spree. I guarantee it would have made more money had it been called that.

Plus just calling it something like that is going to make it hard to google an ting. I did find the trailer really easily, however, so I can’t prove that.


Regular readers are probably wondering why I haven’t done a blog wanking on about my iPad/Samsung Tablet/Other. Well I still haven’t made my mind up: I have pretty much conceded I will get an iPad but am waiting until the launch of whatever they are launching next week. However, I still have the occasional look at the alternatives. One of which is the HTC Flyer – which I read a review of and found this delightful picture. It’s really a magnificent piece of work. Part of me really, really, really hopes that someone was reading Dracula and made this note.

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