Saturday 18 February 2012

Post Office Head

The complex queueing system I outlined a while ago is still causing consternation in the Fallowfield Sorting Office. I had walked there in the rain today, using my new umbrella to protect myself from the rainfall – I found it more helpful when I opened it, creating a kind of canopy rather than when I used it as a sword/bat to strike the raindrops. But I digress.

The queue in the sorting office was obeying its circular structure, with the end of the queue being right at the side of the front of the queue – if was of a decent length (that’s what she said). Though this was confusing people coming in to the building there was a woman who helpfully was telling everyone when they came in that were queueing incorrectly; it was in a bit of an aggressive way, I don’t think anyone was playing the short con here. To be fair to her I think she was just trying to protect the people of the queue, maybe the world needs more vigilante queue enforcers.

The world definitely needs less of people who walk into a place and sees a queue and complains about it being ridiculous that there is a queue before they even know how quickly the people are being served. Why do I say that? Well because when I was in there a woman came in and complained, “this is ridiculous” to the room. The man at the back of the queue said, “no-one likes queuing do they?” to his successor as ‘person at the back of the queue’. She replied, “no it’s not that, it’s always like this. There’s always a queue.”

So, why are you so shocked by it? Surely you should have been expecting a queue you miserable bastard (I thought).

The queue WAS moving quite slowly to be fair to the miserable bastard who has assumed the service was substandard. There was only one person serving when there is normally two; but it was the best one and he was doing his best.

You Fucking Muppet

As one might expect of a 34-year-old man and a 33-year-old man meeting each other in Manchester on a Saturday night, me and my friend Tom went and watched The Muppets. It’s a pretty decent film. I say that as someone who liked The Muppet Show as a child. AND as someone who really likes the acting and writing of Jason Segel. It is hard to imagine someone who doesn’t like muppets liking the film; you might still be able to like it if you don’t like Jason Segel, though.

My shocking point, therefore, is that if you already like the muppets you are likely to enjoy something that is all about the muppets. Go and read a fucking paper if you want a brilliant film review. What am I here? Free. That’s what I am.

What definitely wasn’t very good though were the trailers. These were just for the sequels to all the animated films that didn’t have a sequel out last year, Ice Age and Madagascar. There was not one funny moment in either trailer. Yet there was pretty steady laughter throughout despite there not being any children in the theatre. These people are a fucking shambles. Watch the Madagascar 3 trailer. The opening gag, about 27 seconds in is their heads coming out of the water. It doesn’t make any sense : just because a giraffe has a long neck doesn’t mean it has to carry on raising its head after its eyes (and maybe nose) are out of the water.

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