Sunday 05 February 2012

There was meant to be more about the Super Bowl here but I’ve forgotten what it was that I was going to say. Instead you’ll just have to settle for this, below, about Madonna that isn’t that good or interesting.

She’s Madonna

Madonna is fucking good isn’t she? It’s easy to say she is  just ripping off Gwen Stefani’s stuff from 4 years ago or that her arms are a bit off putting and believe me people prove how easy the latter is by continuously going on about it (like I am here, but by referencing my self-awareness I am able to step outside criticism). I don’t particularly like to quote Robbie Williams but, ‘She’s Madonna‘ says it all really. And I do just mean to quote the phrase ‘She’s Madonna’ but the sentiment of the song is also, unsurprisingly given the title, says it all.

Yeah her arms are a bit vainy. And her hands look a bit like vulture’s legs. But she’s Madonna. She’s pretty fucking good at it as well. Yeah, she’s released that cover version of American Pie and that wasn’t even a major lowpoint. But..True Blue, Holiday, Hung Up, Like A Virgin, Erotica, Borderline, Papa Don’t Preach, Material Girl, Express Yourself (the Madonna version not the N.W.A. one), La Isla Bonita, Crazy for You, Who’s That Girl, Vogue, Cherish, Into The Groove…do I need to go on? I hope not because I think I did most of the ones I really like, though of course not Like A Prayer but I was saving that for last, best one innit? Oh I didn’t mind that one she did with Timberlake either.

And for anyone who say’s, “that’s not a bad catalogue but a lot of it was recorded 20, or more, years ago and a lot of her stuff is a bit shit especially the stuff with William Orbitt,” I say, fair enough – you’ve made a decision based on her music. I can’t fault that. I can’t prove that there’s a bit of antipathy in your view of her because of her trying to be English for a bit and being in some terrible films.

She got a gold old going over lots of people on Twitter when she did the half-time show at the Super Bowl, though. Caitlan Moran seemed to think it was a feminist issue. I think it was because there were a lot of people who weren’t necessarily old enough to remember ace Madonna taking the piss. And not because she was a woman; because maybe they think she is not relevant anymore and think she is trying too hard. I do think that if a 54-year-old man was trying to do the same act he might also have got the shit ripped out of him. You know what though…yeah – she’s 50-fucking-4..you know what though? What 54-year-old man is looking that good doing pop music? And not likely to so we are merely dealing in hypotheticals, the last one that tried had a heart-attack and died.

There were people moaning about fucking everything to be honest. Miming! Miming..it was the half-time show at the Super Bowl; not a concert. It was a show, razzle-dazzle etc.

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