Friday 03 February 2012

You have to ask yourself this question: if you look back at a day and try to think of what you did, and the best thing you can remember is the debate you had about whether to get a chicken kebab or a chip naan for your dinner, you have to wonder if you might be wasting the gift of life. I’d say this – it was a meaningless conversation and a fantastic kebab resulted from it. Can I look back with regret at that throwaway conversation if I was blessed with a beautiful chicken kebab?

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Football’s in a right old tizz eh? If loveable rogue ‘Andsome ‘Arry Redknapp being on trial for the Great Train Robbery isn’t enough, there isn’t a fortnight (or a bit longer) that goes by without some kind of  (rehash of one of two reported acts of ) racism furore. This week Suarez and Evra took the back seat to Ferdinand Jnr and John Terry – with the latter supposed to stand trial for a racially aggravated public order offence.

This week England’s captain John Terry told the courts that he wouldn’t be being on trial until he was done with playing football – and the trial was duly delayed until after the final of the European Championships. One can only assume this is to give JT time for a holiday after England’s final group game (boom boom), unless he has signed on to do some television work (boom boom). Some people were outraged at this decision. Probably because it was outrageous.

The week didn’t get any more satisfactory for Terry when he was relieved of being England captain. Again. Last time it was fair to say that it was probably horse shit to take the captaincy off someone for dipping his toes in someone else’s pond*. This time it is not so cut and dried. If most normal people were found guilty of this crime then yes, they should lose their job. However, (1) John Terry has not been found guilty of anything yet; and (2) football is fucking mental.

People have said if it was a nurse or a teacher (it’s always a nurse or a teacher in these hypotheticals; mainly because these are the only two professions left that everyone is aware of where those doing the jobs do so for scant reward despite their importance) they would be suspended pending the verdict; and that because someone is a footballer shouldn’t mean they should be any different. Probably because it is right. If we refer to a point I made earlier, football is fucking mental.

This all said, for the FA to say it is ok for John Terry to carry on playing for England but remove him from him being captain is pretty cuntish of the FA. Simultaneously casting the shadow of guilt on Terry whilst allowing him to play on, giving the façade of (no irony intended) no prejudice from the powers that be at the Football Association. It is almost like they couldn’t make their minds up for one decisive move and so went for the worst of both worlds.

My two cents is that just because John Terry looks like a horrible bastard who I can imagine being racist doesn’t mean he is one. If we are going to have a legal system – and I am in favour of having one – then we should wait for it to make a decision, even if we have to wait for the accused to decide he is ready to stand trial. After the trial, IF John Terry is found guilty, then we should all call him a racist twat. So, that’s if he is found guilty we say ‘John Terry is a racist twat’. And not before.

*For those not aware of the John Terry and Wayne Bridge scandal of recent times, this is a euphemism. For ‘toe’ read ‘cock’ and for ‘someone else’s pond’ read ‘Wayne’s Bridge’s partner’s vagina’.

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