Tuesday 31 January 2012

Signal and I

There is a discrepancy somewhere between my version of reality and O2’s. They claim there is no fault in the service in my area. Up until Thursday I would have agreed wholeheartedly with them; full bars on my phone and 3G in da house. Then when I got home on Friday it was all ‘No Service’ this and well it was just ‘No Service’, there was nothing else to go in before ‘that’ in this particular ‘this and that’.

Perfect signal everywhere else though. So it’s not my phone. But O2 have now told me several times there is no problem with the service. It wouldn’t really bother me as a rule but my parents’ ongoing battle to spend receding existence in hospital means I like to be available should people need to contact me. How depressing, it is not the sole reason I would like to think I needed my phone. I should be worrying about missing out on social activities and drug sales.

No-one Likes Me (Statuses)

Well this has been ruined hasn’t it? I was going to complain about how none of my brilliantly funny witty statuses/stati get the credit they deserve – citing this unliked gem from today as a prime example when someone went and liked it. Thanks a lot Katie Fitzpatrick. Still it was only one like; this is what a ‘seven or eight likes’ status. If the 317th picture of someone’s baby looking like a baby warrants 47 likes then surely this is worth a meagre sevn likes? Don’t people understand? These statuses are my babies; I cherish them, carrying them (in my head) for as long as six or seven minutes before committing them to html.

Brief

Bit shorter today isn’t it? That’s good news really. I’m doing an application form for a job you see. I fucking hate application forms at the best of times but the ones at my place of employment are utter shit.

Each different skill I am meant to come up with an example of are basically the same thing.

Ability to communicate with people in different formats.

Skills at talking to individuals in changing styles.

Aptitude at interacting with others in a range of dimensions.

Competence in relaying to humans shit in alternating shapes.

Fuck off. Then there will be another eight that are eight different ways of saying being better at what you do.

I’m just fucking brilliant right? I can do stuff – I do it. Now give the job to someone lying about what they can do because they lie about being able to do it/having the capacity to do it/closing your mouth while you breath.

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