Friday 27 January 2012

Cutting Edge

The advantage of a daily blog is that you do one every day; you can get everything in – as the actress said to the practitioner of weak clichés and part-time bishop.

Like how I didn’t even manage to talk about seeing The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo on the day I saw it. I did manage to do so the day after.  21 days later and I am getting around to discussing the other thing that happened that night. It is worth the wait, though, read the fuck out of this…

We were waiting in a queue at the AMC cinema and there were two women in front of us who got served before us – as is the convention with queueing in Manchester. I clearly heard them ask for two tickets for The Artist. They were given two tickets and walked off. As we approached the ticket window they turned around and one of the women said to the ticket seller, “We asked for tickets to The Artist and these are for <<the name of another film>>¹.” The man told her it didn’t really matter as the ticket was just to get her in to the screen area².

Sure, as a matter of convenience for the two women it was easy to let it go. But it just made me think what a mockery it makes of box office figures. And the money…who is getting the money? The whole think stinks if you ask me, cinema ticket sellers are deciding what tops the film box office chart and not the people going to see the films. It seems all the more especially appalling when it is pretentious film Guardian readers are going to see because it’s black and white and is virtually devoid of dialogue in favour of a big budget dull film version of  a book that was enjoyable. I am joking of course, though I haven’t seen The Artist I am sure it is very good and not pretentious at all.

As of the latest figures The Artist has taken £3,205,883 in the UK alone so it hasn’t been totally destroyed by the evil bastards at the AMC. I know that it has taken at least £16 more than that.

And this anecdote and this anecdote alone justifies any illegal downloading that I do.

Sometimes I think I should probably try and write something better than what I do write. Something witty and scathing about the boss of The Royal Bank of Scotland getting a bonus equal to his salary, a salary he was paid to do exactly what he received the ludicrously large bonus for. I got a bit mixed up with that sentence, probably why I shouldn’t try and write witty social comment. I was trying to say he was paid a bonus for doing his job.

¹I can’t remember what the film is but it almost certainly was a bigger budget/box office receipt film. If you have to have a film in your head lets say it is The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo.

²For the uninitiated Manchester’s AMC cinema is on two levels; you buy your tickets on one level (where there are also arcade machines) and then rise to the next level on an escalator. At the top of this you are met by one – or sometimes two – AMC employee(s) who take your ticket then you go to your screen. Food and drink are also available.

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