Kiss My ASOS
It’s all well and good staying away from the sales to not spend money you don’t have (to spend on clothes you don’t need) but they put the sales on the internet. What’s that all about. The internet is like a massive shop that you are constantly browsing in – with porn and videos of cats playing volleyball.
I tried my best. And by trying my best I mean for the last few years I go on websites that sell stuff that I like and buy it. Especially when I don’t need it: I have about ten or thirteen iPhone cases and enough hats and bags to an entire room of about eleven people who each wanted a bag and a hat (and have a spare hat and bad inside the first bag).
This week I even tried so hard not to get involved in the insanity of sales by going on ASOS. A website so perfectly suited for people who like buying clothes they don’t need (and by this I mean it is a website that sells clothes) that it is almost as unnatural as the conversations in Made in Chelsea*. Fortunately I didn’t frivolously waste any money on anything I didn’t need, I bought a neckerchief and a bag because it reminded me of the one Kevin had in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. (The one where Kevin McCallister from Home Alone got lost in New York: it wasn’t just a clever title. Actually only half of it was Ronseal-esque the Home Alone element was entirely misleading – he was not at home, he was in New York. At a hotel. With an ace bag.)
I had gone on ASOS trying to find a coat. Buying a neckerchief and a bag (like Kevin had in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York) is almost like getting a coat. It is only like it like having a cup of tea is like playing badminton though. So I had to carry on looking. Don’t worry: I got there in the end. I got a coat vaguely like one I was after.
The problem is now I have 279 coats/jackets. It seems like a weird number to have. I should just get one more.
*Yeah I got the name of the show right, it was a stab in the dark between this and the Essex one but I got it right. I think this shows that I got my finger on the pulse.