Rise and Shine
If there is one thing Leavecember robbed me of it’s listening to Breakfast Radio. What? Of course I couldn’t listen to it you idiot: I was asleep. God, you’re an idiot. Breakfast radio isn’t for people on a month off work, it’s for people trying to wake up to the horrors of their job; people who are just at home at that time as a matter of course (and aren’t asleep) are either watching television or listening to Radio 4 depending on what echelon of the class system they are from.
Not for me the pleasure of sleep until midday. As I dragged my weary body to the kitchen to make a bacon bagel (see below) I realised the treat I was in for when I returned to shower and dress (Sky Sports News for breakfast and brew). And because of all the hard work they did in rousing me in to getting in to work in the autumn (sometimes only as much as 5 or 10 minutes late), since becoming my choice of shower listening, I made a real New Years Honour: I programmed Capital FM in to one of my five memory presets on the bathroom Roberts DAB. Yeah, man, I fucking went there. That’s a real achievement for the Capital FM Breakfast Crew, sure the station gets all the credit but it’s really a reward for them and them alone – but my radio isn’t clever enough to be able to have a memory preset button just for a show, rather than a station. Come on boffins at Roberts – pull your finger out on this one.¹
That’s right the Capital FM Breakfast Crew were back in my life and by God they were welcome. Rachel, Wingman and man who for Wingman is wingman: I’ve missed you bastards. Surely they couldn’t raise a smile straight away though; I was going back to work after an entire month off work, a smile at this stage would be hard. And I didn’t smile. Not an external smile. I was cheered slightly by a conversation not trying to manufacture physical attraction.
Why did I do this little inner smile? As simple and lovingly beautiful as this: the Capital FM Breakfast Crew were talking about whether you should say twenty-twelve or two thousand and twelve when saying the year that it is this year, 2012. I think it’s a bit context dependent but on the whole I agreed, surprise surprise, with Wingman: twenty-twelve. Unfortunately I think this is the subliminal effect of the Olympics propaganda but never-the-less twenty-twelve it is for me.
And then they played some non-specific chart pop/dance crossover while I cleansed myself.
¹XFM Manchester. That’s who got shunted: sorry lads but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. For those who want to know the full five: BBC Radio 5 Live, Talksport, Capital Fm, BBC 6 Music and BBC Radio 4.
I can’t go in to it. I would start typing so hard I would smash my keyboard. Let’s just say when I finished on December 02, 2011 I did a document outlining where I was up to. It asked for ONE thing to be done in my absence. Also I was on top of shit so only a couple of things would come up that would need actioning quickly while I was off (i.e. I knew they would need doing a few days in to my leave). Today I had to do both of those things. Thanks a fucking bunch. When other people are off I am all over their shit (that they should have done when they were in work anyway).
In other examples of fairness some colleagues are getting new laptops where others at the same level as them are not. Not only are they not they are dealing with PCs from 5 years ago like I am. 30 minutes this morning: the gap between me depressing the power button and the computer depressing me by completing the log-on and allowing me to start work.
Other than that it was an okay return to work. [66 by the way, just 66]
A Picture of A Bagel