Saturday 31 December 2011

Some Things I Didn’t Blog About in 2011

  • The change in packaging of Wall’s Microwave Sausages. Admittedly the new box is a little bit more enticing to the consumer’s wandering breakfast meat eye. However, this has come at a cost: the back of the box no longer has the diagrams of how you should lay out the sausages when placing them in the microwave. I can’t remember how you should lay six out, I cannot remember. It’s a fair point that I never have four – let alone six – and so not knowing how I should lay six out  will almost certainly never cause me a problem. Why did I write that? At some stage in the next few months it is OBVIOUSLY will be essential for me to know how Walls advise how six sausages should be laid in formation for optimum cooking.
  • Where do all the cool phrases on social networks come from? Who gives them the royal thumbs up? Yeah, I know that stuff happens over a like societal level has an uptake that makes it popular but…there is this film, its an old one, where a small town in America replicates America on a much reduced scale. So, in order to know what will work nationally – like people voting in elections – they test it on this small town. (I don’t remember what it was about really. It was years ago when I watched it and even then I wasn’t paying full attention, I was probably reading Roy of The Rovers or something.) I will say this though – and I really should say something that means something as none of this has really made sense – people don’t half mis-use them in their desperation to be seen to be using them, the amount of people using the ‘the awkward moment when…’ opening for statuses when, non-ironically, describing a non-awkward moment is terrifying. A terrifying number.
  • That – by not waiting until 2012 – writing about ‘Things I Didn’t Blog About in 2011’ in a 2011 blog has instantly made a mockery of the title and contents. Fucking fuckity fucks.

New Year’s Sleeve More Like

Tonight’s New Year’s Eve can only be described as one of my most epic yet. Though I did read the FA’s 115 page report on the case against Luis Suarez. Yeah, look jealous.

I received no invitations to do anything and received no ‘Happy New Year’ messages at midnight.  Not that NYE means anything to me, heck I don’t care..was it New Year’s Eve even? No idea, me, that’s how little I care about no-one caring about me. Could have been any other day for my money. Stupid New Year’s Eve, people gathering with their friends and loved ones..not catch me caring about not being part of that. Whatevs.

Seriously though it doesn’t really mean much to me. Although I wouldn’t just not do/not like something to be contrary I find myself not liking stuff that seems to be popular. And NYE is always considered party time. Don’t get me wrong January 31st is a good day, it’s just the enforced japery of NYE which puts me off. It’s the going out equivalent of Comic Relief. It’s fine by me if this is the night people want to be out who go out about 5 times a year I’m just not that fussed if I’m not out around them.

If you did want to ask me out January 31st 2012 though…y’know…I’m bigger than saying no just for the sake of it…no forget it, forget I said anything.


(Happy New Year)

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