Wednesday 14 December 2011

Nostalgia is Getting Better With Time

Sure all people will remember about Christmas in a few years is that year a little lad was in a John Lewis advert. But I was talking about what Christmas meant to me the other day and I was saying the usual things: Presents, Christmas TV specials¹, presents,  Christmas Radio Times, presents, Christmas dinner, Christmas songs, presents under the Christmas tree, Coca-Cola adverts, Christmas films (yes I freely acknowledge that quite a few of these involve escaping in to an idealised Christmas of someone else’s fictional brain – whatevs).

It only occurred to me today that one thing I used to love – that wasn’t a tv show or avarice – was a snow shaker I used to have. This isn’t meant to be like some symbol of my lost childhood like Citizen Kane’s sledge. I just remembered something I haven’t thought of for a good few years. And that was what that was about. And you know what? I am going to get myself a fucking snow shaker when I go shopping. And just like every other time I have chased something I loved as a kid² I will be massively disappointed – but you gotta try eh?

¹Simple choice – show the characters doing something at Christmas or show them on a Summer holiday; that was the simple choice a writer had for penning his Christmas special. Preferred the Christmas ones myself – like Christmassy things at Christmas, not seeing the Vicar of Dibley in Morrocco.

²See also tracking down Sheriff and The Satellite Kid & The Toy³ down on DVD. Absolute shite x 2. Those two really meant a lot to me when I was little, I proper loved the pair of them  – and the sequel to SATSK, Why Did You Pick on Me?

³The Toy is actually so poor you can watch the entire film online (legally) for free, here.

Juxtaposed Paradigms

See I’ve talked about it before – the old people who go to my gym. I think/assume it’s some part of scheme. And I’m not laughing AT them – to be honest I’m not laughing at all I’m damn near crying at the poor bastards. But it is hard not to find something humorous about an old man dressed in quite smart clothes and shoes in a gym; walking very slowly between an exercise bike and whatever those things are called that are liked exercise bikes for your arms. And then getting on the bike and going very,very slowly for a second before stopping and sitting still for a few minutes.

I promise you – it might sound like I am laughing at them – I am not laughing at them. It’s just not the paradigm of someone in a gym, it’s an old person in proper clothes juxtaposed with a gym where you see younger people in gym wear (that I am laughing at). See that’s not being mean and I proved it by using long words. PROVED IT.

See this is the kind of thing that I end up talking about when I do things like go to the gym during the daytime. Are you happy Leavecember? Are you happy with what you are forcing me to pump in to other people’s brains?

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