Friday 02 December 2011


One of the local convenience stores has a sign under the till that says ‘CASHBACK £1 only’. I can’t make out if this means that it only costs £1 to get cash back or if £1 is the minimum spend in order to be able to get cash back.

Is that definite?

I walked past a girl talking to a university security officer – she was talking about having lost something, almost certainly a phone. The guy asked her when the last time she definitely had the phone. Her answer was “between 10 and 11”. I couldn’t decide if this was an acceptable answer. A window of an hour is not very precise – but if the last time she had the phone was in that window then it was an accurate answer I suppose [see last Saturday’s hilarious blog to understand what I am brilliantly referencing]. Still, he asked for a definite answer so my semantic pedantry doesn’t really clear anything up. However, if I asked someone when the last time they DEFINITELY had something was and they answered “between 10 and 11”, I would write 1o down in my notebook (assuming I was noting down the answers). As after that point she clearly wasn’t sure so how could it be any other point for definite? Stupid cow.

‘Cashback’ section was much more minimal eh? Probably should go with that more in the future – sentences don’t take as long to write.


It’s under way! I finished work today. Stupid, fucking, dickhead, shitbubble work. Done: for a month.

I have opted to go with Leavecember, by the way. 100% certain.

An unfortunate consequence of Leavecember is that the advent calendar- normally a countdown (well count up) to the most exciting day of the year is now a countdown (up) towards my return to work. It is a blessing that I am 33 and haven’t had an advent calendar for over 2 years; at least it is just other people’s advent calendars that are cruel reminders of how short Leavecember is. In a way it is a metaphor for life: life is Leavecember and advent calendars are grey hair are something – or old people dying if you want to be a bit more sinister.



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