Tuesday 11 October 2011

I am currently reading a biography of this chap, Earl Chad Willhelm Rattigan the Ninth (pictured below). Rattigan has been a hitherto ignored figure in world history however the biography, Is Rattigan Right Again?, claims to have unearthed startling evidence suggesting the very first seeds of the plot of the atrocities of 9/11 were sewn in Battersea in the 19th century. Disappointingly, the book diverts away from this subject and concentrates on Rattigan’s obsessive campaign to remove London’s penultimate King Lord from office. On the grounds that said King Lord was a wheelbarrow.

Earl Chad Willhelm Rattigan the Ninth

It turns out, though nothing can be proved, Chad was credited with removing the wheelbarrow from the pedestal 18th century London had placed it on and leaving it as a vehicle for transporting garden waste and such – as God had intended. Though cockneys had elected a wheelbarrow King Lord of London (forerunner to the modern role of Mayor) a righteous Rattigan had campaigned vehemently that a wheelbarrow could not be a leader of men. However, this biography claims, many commentators at the time cited this righteous vehemence as little more than a dog barking in the streets; often something said of Rattigan’s speeches.

There can be little doubt that he was central in the constitution of London outlawing garden vehicles from running for political office – for the law was passed only 48 years after Willhelm passed away – from eating some chocolate.

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