Fat (wo)man starts to fall
God what is his problem with fat people? The fat fuck doesn’t even get the irony in complaining about fat people when he is a fat cunt himself. Ah, no, well you see – yes, I am overweight. But only enough to make me physically repulsive – it is a cruel trick of fate that I am also ugly as well – and not make me so fat as to cause other people any hindrance; apart from maybe very shallow people looking directly at me. Anyway, italic interloper you have derailed my point before I have even made it. You theoretical shit.
So one of the lifts is broken at work. There is a woman who is unable to properly use the stairs. Because she has a poorly leg. She is also a bit corpulent. And she smokes. Some people who work here are allowed to go out for breaks about once an hour to smoke. When I say allowed I just mean they do it because they think they are something special and think they should get paid several hours a week for smoking.
Anyway, the lift is broken. She needs to smoke. She has just been cutting through to our office to use the service lift. That’s fine. Today – for whatever reason – she decided to struggle down the stairs. At break time. Now, more power to her for using the stairs and I am not going to single out her for smoking all the time (it was break time anyway, she can do what she wants. I don’t mean heroin. She still has to obey the laws of England). But how’s about just thinking about other people? There was a massive queue behind her because she was very slow going down the stairs and no-one could get past. I don’t want to be mean, she is clearly in a difficult situation but no-one would have minded had she gone a bit early or a bit later so as not to clog up the stairs. People just need to think about other people a bit more.
I really don’t want to be mean about her, her life is nothing to do with me. But I imagine smoking and being overweight are not helping with her mobility issues. But it is her life. I am just smug because I am an overweight smoker who is (relatively) mobile. In your face woman. I am better than someone. I’ll tell you for one over, more serious point to do with this lady. She does have a proper need for this lift but it doesn’t stop other lazy, smoking bastards using it when they go to smoke. Grown adults using a lift rather than walk two (not very big) flights of stairs. There is this one guy and his mate who get it and one of them gets out on my floor but he is always mid-conversation with the one going a floor further up. That’s fine – you think – they can phone each other/email/see each other in about a minute if they want. No, the one who works on my floor keeps the lift there while he finishes what is I am almost certain is a fucking really dull point. What a cunt. He is the true villain of the piece.
Postscript: I wrote this earlier; I am not really happy with some of the tone and content. But I am also not going to delete it, for reasons thus: it’s a blog and I’m not (and never do*) standing by it as a thought through and definitive portrait of my thoughts. Never the less, I will say this any cheap shots at anyone’s weight, other than my own, weren’t really meant with any malice and were, as usual, examples of chasing a cheap laugh. The only thing I was attacking was selfishness.
We have a T-Rex
Went to a screening of Tyrannosaur tonight. It’s a superb film. A brilliant writing and directorial debut from one of my favourite actors, Paddy Considine. It doesn’t shy from some harsh issues: domestic abuse being the main one. It handles this, and the other issues, with real poise and beauty without shying away from the horror of it all. Peter Mullen and Olivia Colman are both magnificent in the leading roles. Go and see this film; films this good need the support of bums on seats.
Afterwards Considine did a Q&A (it was much more rewarding than the Richard Ayoade did after Submarine, that I don’t mention in that blog so that’s a relatively useless link) as Considine is – rightly – proud of his film, and was unabashed to share the passion and craft he had put in to it. And for once there weren’t (many) people being annoying when asking the questions.
Hob Nobbing with Cocks (Cox)
Doesn’t really count as meeting someone this..
As the cinema filled up there weren’t many places left and there was one spare seat between us and the next lot of people on our row. As I offered to move along so someone could squeeze on the end (which was pretty unselfish really as getting an aisle seat is one of my top 400 things) I realised I was offering the seat to Brian Cox (not the Physics one) and Philip Jackson. I fucking love Cox-y, no disrespect to Jackson who is a downright fine actor. Cox ended up sat in front of though – he seemed to have a blind spot for Jackson (who sat next to me) going to the toilet though; he carried on chatting away to him when nipped off for a wee before the film started (“small bladder” he told me). Then when we left the cinema and I was waiting for MJEA Cox looked a bit lost, he had not seen Jackson go to the toilet. “He’s gone for a piss” I said to the film legend. He raised his eyebrows like he spent a lot of time waiting for people to piss and then walked away from me like I was some weirdo who watched when people went to the toilet and then told other people about it, what a front eh? These Hollywood big shots…
*I do sometimes, that was just a downright lie.