Thursday 29 September 2011

It’s pretty hard to have a favourite anything isn’t it? Especially when it comes to…no, it’s hard to have a favourite anything. Different thing have different things to offer. Unlike me – who has nothing to offer, but that is just me indulging my self-pity; it may not be the biggest in the world but I know what I am doing with it. How is it always about my cock with you people?

Paul, who I work with, sent us (me and the other lads on the team, I wasn’t using us as a first person pro-noun) a list of his top ten films that he compiled a few years ago; he’s been asked to by his girlfriend, what kind of saddo writes things for no-one to read? [I’d be winking at the camera – if this was a TV show – right now. Though, of course, no-one would be watching.] He admitted that his ten films that then counted as his top ten were (a) probably not even his ten favourite films then and (b) they definitely not his ten favourite films now. Clearly his girlfriend shouldn’t be trusting anything he says, for starters.

Regardless of whether or not you can trust Paul, can you rank art? No, not really. Well of course you can. But it will only ever be representative of your thoughts at that moment in time and not necessarily reflective of much more. For example, when I was an emotional mess following the end of my previous relationship I watched the Ryan Reynolds romcom Definitely Maybe every day for a week or so. EVERY day. Not really every day. I was exaggerating. I watched it quite a few times over a few weeks is more accurate. It was somehow a comfort in those difficult times and would easily have been one of may favourite films around that time. But, ask me now what I think of it and I wouldn’t hesitate to admit: it is brilliant, definitely (maybe?HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) one of my favourite films.

That was a bad example. I should have chosen a film that was very high in my affections at some stage but then fell from grace, for one reason or another. Like when I was…I was just going to describe when I liked a film in the past and then say I still liked it. Yep, I was going to repeat a joke that wasn’t funny.

Anyway…so it is hard to pick a top 10 of stuff like films. Or songs. Or books. If you factor in getting older and having more to choose from it is a nightmare. Though this is slightly cancelled out by going fucking dolally and forgetting stuff.  With most of my marbles still in place I tried to assemble a ten. Striking the balance is hard. Different films seem brilliant for different reason. Artistic merit and great stories are one thing, but they wont necessarily keep you in laughs. Laughs are important to me. I also think a film being re-watchable is a great quality, but does it mean it is not a great film if you don’t want to watch it again. The Deer Hunter and Apocalypse Now are not even on the (below) ‘short’ list for my top ten. I do think both of them are both great films, and certainly examples of film as art. However watching either of them again isn’t that appealing. I would rather watch 10 Things I Hate About You for the 42nd time.

Although I have talked about how hard it is to say what your favourite thing is other than at any given moment, is it that different for any other concept? Love is fleeting, can be; ditto hate, and everything in between.

I also predict there are loads of films I have forgotten to put on my ‘short’ list. Is Unforgiven on there? Is Once Upon A Time in America? I am such a fucking idiot.

Also: I used to watch loads of foreign stuff on Channel 4 and BBC2 (oh wasn’t I such a fucking little intellectual? No, I also watched all the Carry On films) that I didn’t know the name of at the time, let alone what they are called now, especially all the old asian stuff where the lads had that minging bald head/pony tail thing.

This is my ‘short list’ for my top ten, in no order (though Goodfellas or Rushmore is probably my favourite):

Goodfellas
Rushmore
The Royal Tennenbaums
True Romance
Pulp Fiction
Jackie Brown
Inglorious Basterds
Godfather Pt 1
The King of Comedy
This is Spinal Tap
The Sting
The Hustler
Ocean’s 11 (2001)
Point Break
Gremlins
The Goonies
As Good As It Gets
Rounders
Heat
Dazed and Confused
Mallrats
Chasing Amy
Dogma
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Kingpin
Zoolander
Old School
Step Brothers
Knocked Up
Indianna Jones and The Raiders of The Last Ark
Indianna Jones and The Last Crusade
Scarface
Taxi Driver
American Pie
Star Wars Episode 5: The Empire Strikes Back
The Departed
Jurassic Park
Ghostbusters
Carlito’s Way
12 Angry Men
Citizen Kane
Rear Window
Rope
Die Hard
Die Hard II: Die Harder
Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind
Bull Durham
Kes
Platoon
Rocky
The Life of Brian
Four Lions
Independence Day
Armageddon
Good Will Hunting
Terminator 2
Jerry Maguire
10 Things I Hate About You
Grosse Point Blank
Get Carter
The Untouchables
16 Candles
Weird Science
The Wanderers
Cinema Paradiso
Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring
The Shining
City of God
Amelie
Unbreakable
This is England
Jaws
Escape to Victory
Alfie (1966)
The Lost Boys
Stand by Me
Rosemary’s Baby
The Exorcist
When Harry Met Sally
Shaun of The Dead
Definitely Maybe
A Life Less Ordinary
Back to The Future
Teen Wolf
Iron Man
Trading Places
The Matrix
Do The Right Thing
Submarine
Enter The Dragon
Naked
The Social Network
101 Dalmatians
Annie Hall
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