Monday 26 September 2011

Coffee without sugar is just not taking to me. I can drink it but I’m fucked if I enjoy it. It’s not killing me or anything; I only have one or two brews a day maximum. But I pyar enjoy my Saturday and Sunday morning coffees and it just isn’t the same without a couple of filthy sucres bobbed in my large cup of joe.

I am going to stick with it but it is a bit frustrating as I took to tea without sugar like a duck to water – water with less teeth rotting chemicals in it which were bad for it. I have also admirably cut down on my Coca-Cola intake in recent months. I’ve gone from 1-a-day MINIMUM to maybe one through the week and a couple at weekend. None of this has made me happier, nicer, healthier or sleep better so I am not quite sure of the point. A noticable trend over the last few months is that I no longer have any friends and no-one reads my blog anymore. It was all caffeine and sugar after all.

A girl walked up to my colleague today and asked him where a team was based. That’s alright isn’t it? (You ask) Isn’t someone allowed to ask you and your judgemental bastard team for assistance? (You continue, a little aggressively). Well, shall I tell you why it annoyed me before you start shouting at me (which is mean)?

He was on the phone. He wasn’t on a bluetooth headset or some other hands free phone system; He wasn’t holding the phone under a sheet which disguised the handset; he wasn’t even listening to a prolonged bit of talk from whoever was at the other end (and thus being quiet and not clearly on a phone call). He was talking to someone in exchanges of talk at either end. You know like a conversation, a conversation where he was trying to help someone (it’s his job, let’s not start sucking his dick just yet).

And she just stood there and started talking to him. He didn’t answer straight away – the rude cunt – because he was in the middle of a sentence. So she said it again. “He’s on the phone, ” I said, “Don’t talk to him while he’s on the phone.”  She looked at me like I had said she was a cunt. I mean, I had said she was a cunt, in a way. But surely in her world she was not a cunt. I had only said she was a cunt in my crazy world of manners. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with her behaviour and thus me verbalising what she was doing could surely not have seemed like I was calling her a cunt. Unless she knows she is a cunt but just doesn’t like it being pointed out, in which case I think I might find her attractive. Only joking  – she is Chinese.*

People talking to people when they are on the phone is definitely up there with the most annoying rudenesses out there. I think it is even worse than not thanking someone for opening a door open for you, or men not thanking women for looking past everything that is wrong with them and still being with them.

*Calm down they were both jokes. I WOULD find someone attractive for being a mean bitch and she IS Chinese, but she is ugly Chinese. Or just ugly if you want to be nice about it. So despite her being a rotten rude cunt I just found her ugly because her face is bad.

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