Friday 16 September 2011

Another one of my favourite things: local unprofessional signs. This one isn’t quite as good as the electrician one, as people called it.

I like the different sizes of fonts and thickness of pens used in this one, though. I am not going to be petty enough to have a go at the crossing out and the initial mis-spelling. That would be the behaviour of someone who bullied hand made sign writers whereas I like to think of myself as a lovable wit.

My two bezzie things are the words ‘THIS’ and ‘WElcome’. I would love to know if the ‘THIS’ was added at some stage or it was always part of the sign. There is certainly a big enough gap between ‘THIS’ and ‘GARAGE’ to suggest the two words were not written at the same time. Maybe even by a different hand? Who knows. I prefer the idea of it being added later.

“This is a grand sign, Seamus, but might people having a look at it think it is some OTHER garage being offered for sale?”

“You make a point, Declan, how’s about I add the singular proximal demonstrative-“

“Seamus, if you mean ‘this’ then say ‘this’. You’re impressing no-one with that kind of talk.”

“Sorry Declan. But, sure if I add ‘this’ at the top people will know that it’s the garage that I hang the sign on that is for sale. Are you not thinking that might be obvious from the fact that it’s a sign advertising a garage for sale and is hung on a garage?”

“Fergal Calloricken had a sign advertising a garage for sale on his garage and he got countless phone calls asking which garage it was. People had their eyes on all sorts of garages they wanted, but not Fergal’s. He ended up taking his own life it got so bad. Do you want to end up hanging yourself because of the misery of countless people asking you about some garage you don’t even own?

“Gees I’ve written it already, would you ever get off my back?”

If there wasn’t a conversation EXACTLY like that then I would be amazed.

The ‘welcome’ in brackets is also genius. Why wouldn’t a reasonable offer be welcome? Are there people thinking of making a reasonable offer for things who are put off, thinking that it would be unwelcome. I really should only make overly generous offers for things.  Putting it in brackets is also a lovely touch – they don’t want to be overly aggressive by flat out saying that generous offers are welcome,  just putting it in parenthesis makes is seem like a whisper – added in an almost embarrassed way.

Car hole for sale

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