Quick bit of advice: if you do a decent impression of Dominic West as Fred West keep it to yourself. Yesterday (Friday) I joined the groom and a few friends for beers the night before said groom’s wedding. When just a couple of people had arrived I asked them if they had seen Appropriate Adult. One of the lads hadn’t. He asked me about it. I was telling him that though I had enjoyed it, I thought it ran the risk of making Fred West like a Paul Whitehouse Fast Show character. I illustrated this by doing my version of the first scene we saw West (West) meet his appropriate adult (Emily Watson). My impression was judged spot on by the lad who has seen the show.

Unfortunately the lad who hadn’t seen it is a bit of a top hat. And he kept making me do it as new people had arrived through the evening. Ah well, just one night.

Then today at the wedding, more accurately the reception, when I arrived he had been telling people who weren’t out on Friday that they had to hear this impression of me doing West. Is doing a good Fred West impression (that you don’t mind the compliment of your mimicry but are not sure you want people laughing at me/Fred West – which was my issue with the show in the first place. I didn’t intend to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Honest.) better or worse a thing than looking like Andy Fordham?  I feel blessed that I am in a position to contemplate this question.

• What’s the best way to blow off steam when you’re angry? I dismember my children and bury them in the garden.
• If you were an inanimate object, what would you be and why? My career.
• If you could go back in time and relive one day of your life, which would you choose? 9 May 1992.