Friday 24 June 2011

I can’t help but feel people who think it’s funny to shout ‘come on Tim’ (is it ‘sport’s most famous-catcall -that-sounds-most-like-an-instruction-for-someone-to-ejaculate-on-a-specific-person’?) are not the kind of people to who you want to express that them shouting ‘come on Tim’ is a hindrance. I suppose they might be the kind of people who think that shouting ‘come on Tim’ inappropriately at extremely high-level sport is just hilarious and not distracting or annoying. But are these people who can read? And so is the article going to achieve anything?

It takes a special kind of person to think this was funny (after the first person did it – admittedly, the first person who did this at an Andy Murray game WAS funny. Just not numbers 2 – 12,000 who did it) and not disrespectful to the man (Murray, but to a lesser extent it is kind of disrespectful to Henman as well) and the sport, as well as the other spectators.

Speaking of being disrespectful to spectators, Bono probably made a few sick at Glastonbury. And not just by dodging taxes at a time when his nation,  of which he is supposedly so proud, is not exactly financially untroubled. Did you see him? If you didn’t – and you are eating – I apologise for making you picture it. If you didn’t, Imagine Robin Williams (as Mrs Doubtfire) in a leather jacket and pants combo.

I am no lothario – but then again I do not front a rock ‘n’ roll band. Neither do I dress in clothes befitting of someone 20 years younger (that school uniform was a very specific one-off and everyone in the room was a consenting adult – or had at least consented before their death, for which I have never been charged). I would say you should never wear leather pants – but that is because I am small, fat and ugly. If you look good in them then please do wear them – and walk around near me. I do mean women, but if men want to I am an equal opportunities viewer.

And certainly – if you are a full-out rock star, then you wear leather pants and – but not necessarily – a leather jacket or waistcoat. But you don’t wear any other garment, you should be bare-chested, which should probably have tattoos or crucifixes adorning it. Not a black t-shirt because it is slimming and you are a fat old man.

There was a fair amount of U2 bashing going on about Twitter, but as much as I thought 3/4 of them looked slightly embarrassing (Larry Mullen Jnr couldn’t look old or uncool if he tried. Too many people use the comment ‘there must be a portrait of you looking terrible in someone’s loft’ when someone looks good on their age. There must be a picture of LMJ looking pretty fucking bad in someone’s loft though, he’d give a dog a bone) and I would not hold myself up as a fan – I couldn’t fault their playing or Bono’s vox (hahahaahhaaha). True, I don’t despise them like many do but you can’t argue with some of their back catalogue.

MJEA was a bit irked that I watched the whole set. I don’t get never watching something on the opinion you don’t like it. You have to give stuff a go to be able to offer an open-minded opinion in a proper discussion. Of course no-one is saying MJEA wants to contribute to a discussion about the U2, and I am not faulting her for that – it is more to explain why I want to watch them when I don’t really like them.

I don’t want to not like a band because the frontman is a little cock-knocker. I am afraid that is where I am with U2, but it doesn’t mean I will say they are rubbish because they aren’t and it just makes people sound a bit closed-off to say that. Say you don’t like it, fair enough but people who say bands are rubbish because of some cliché about them being whiney or the like just sounds a bit small-minded.

Don’t get me wrong I am not claiming a higher ground, or saying I am not small-minded at times: I cannot listen to Susan Boyle because she looks like the lovechild of Bob Carolgees and Spit the Dog and I am not a stranger to deriding The Libertines/Babyshambles/Peter Doherty because of Doherty’s lifestyle when I actually like quite a lot of his output. I am turning around a bit on him though after the bloke basically suggested he had practically murdered a filmmaker in The Observer the other week. I know that sounds perverse, but it just read to me like a bit of a witch hunt, and I’ve always been on the side of the witch.

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