Monday 21 February 2011

Despite where I work being a spirit-crushing place to work, which fulfils no part of my mind, body or soul I have never really been on the verge of leaving – apart from the one time I applied for a job externally, oh and another time I did the application form for an external job but I posted it about 3 days after the deadline (and yes I think I did get angry about this not being deemed good enough by the potential employers – what’s a few days? Yes, I was applying for the position of ‘Manager of Enforcing Postal Deadlines for Job Applications Are Met’ but I don’t see what your point is). Now, something is making me consider my future elsewhere – and it’s because of developments in the toilets.

 I am not going to get into the machinations of visiting the lavatory (though yes I have discussed the manners of visiting the toilet before), but seriously it is losing it’s whole appeal in work.  What has happened?  Have they removed the doors to the cubicbles? Is there a sex offender roaming the toilets?  Have they fallen into a state akin to the one at the start of Trainspottting? No..well, maybe to the second one and ‘not really but sometimes a little bit’ to the third one.  But, for the purposes of what I am trying to say: No, they haven’t happened. 

They have got rid of toilet rolls from the toilet – and replaced them with those things that dispense leafs of toilet paper.  It’s a fucking shambles.  If you’ve met me, you know it takes a lot to make me swear – and I just called this a FUCKING shambles.  It’s just not on.  If there is so much wrong with toilet rolls than I think they would have been superseded by now.  A pile of napkins is not an improvement.  If anyone out there works at a place with toilet rolls, let me know and I will apply for a job there.

I have not received any specific requests to detail my food intake in these blogs – but sometimes one has to make a leap of faith and assume you are all sat out there reading it (or all reading it together, with plenty of room to move- gathered in a three-man tent) and wanting me to list what I have eaten, with perhaps a brief quality description in brackets.  So, eager to please as ever here goes nothing:

Breakfast: Weetabix,2, with warm milk – semi-pasteurised warmed for 90 seconds in a 850W microwave (Adequate)

Snack: Granny Smith apple (great)

Lunch: 9 McDonalds Chicken Nuggets, 1 McDonalds Cheeseburger, 1 McDonalds Large Fries (alright)

Tea: ASDA Beef and Vegetable Soup (wank)

Supper: 4 slices of toast dunked in tea (awesome)

Snack: Walkers Salt and Vinegar Crisps (succulent).

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